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Shanick Moore is a mother, Minister in Training, author, empowerment speaker, Christian Life Coach, national leader, and entrepreneur. She is also the National Program Coordinator with Project Single Moms. www.projectsinglemoms.com.
Ms. Moore is featured in an article on Christian Singles in the July/August Issue of Gospel Today.
There was a time when family would be defined as a group of
people related by blood such as parents, children, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
Nowadays you find that a family unit can consist of many types of
relationships. We find family in friendships that end up being much closer and
more fruitful than those that are blood related. Many children and adults find
families in the arms of strangers going through the adoption process. Is there
one definition of a family or is family whatever you decide it should be? Are
you your family? Does your family define who you are or who you will be?
Family can be a very sensitive topic. We have all heard where fights or heated discussions are anticipated at the family cook out or celebration. They say you can't pick your family, so we make a choice to just deal with them or stay away. Dysfunction easily becomes our normality; generational curses become just a part of our lives. But does it have to be?
If you take some time to check out Genesis, you will see that the reality shows of today have nothing on the First Family. We start with Adam and Eve and quickly see where pride slips in and leads to being disobedient to God. This was the initial sin that set the tone of the behaviors that would follow in the family. The story continues on with Adam and Eve's children Cain and Abel where sin quickly led to murder.Cain brutally killed his brother Abel because of jealousy. Was this the consequence of the parent's action? Was this a sign of what would be a regular occurrence in the family?
We are introduced to Abraham, the father of many nations. Abraham was married to Sarah, and, even though he was a considered a blessed man of God, he did not always do everything in decency and order. Drama begins when Sarah doubted the promises of God and arranged for Abraham to have a child with her maid Hagar. Talk about the beginning of Baby Momma Drama. This led to the women having a horrible relationship where Sarah treated Hagar badly. The story takes me back to Adam and Eve, seeing how in both cases, the husbands easily followed the instructions of their wives. How many women do we know who run the house? The deception continues when the bible tells us that on two occasions Abraham lied about being Sarah's husband in fear of losing his life. Are these good examples the leaders in the family are setting?
The First Families drama continues with Lot, the nephew of Abraham, who was not the most dependable man. His uncle Abraham came in order to bail him out of trouble on multiple occasions.Do you have a family member like this? Well, the story of Lot continues in Sodom and Gomorrah where he offered his virgin daughters to men who were looking for the male angels to have sex with. It does not end there, when escaping Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at the city after being told not to. Why did she look back? Was the dysfunction her normality? Was dealing with the old better than experiencing the new? The example of horrible choices continues when Lot's daughters tricked him into having sex with them to get them pregnant. Sounds like a story straight from Jerry Springer, right?
If you continue to read the Bible you learn of many stories of betrayal happening in the family from Isaac's son Jacob deceiving and stealing his brother's Esau's birthright to Jacob's sons attempting the murder of their brother Joseph. It can be a little depressing when you put it all together. I wanted you to see how the First Family in the Bible had a list of issues, curses, bad decision making, and much more going on. However, the purpose and the promise never changes. What God said he will do, he will do. The same covenant that was made with Abraham was made with you when you make a conscious choice to receive Jesus Christ in your heart as your Lord and Savior.
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17). This scripture means in Christ it does not matter where you came from, who your family is, or what has previously been done. You are brand new! You must believe what God says about you regardless of what you see around you. In many cases, those who were before us struggled with knowing their true identity and purpose, which caused them to not have the tools to give you what you needed. That is why it is essential to seek God for your identity and purpose. People, even family can keep you from reaching your full potential if you let them. The Bible says in Romans 3:4, "God forbid, yea, let God be true, but every man be a liar." This is not to say that your family lies, or they don't care, love you, or want the best for you. It is a reminder that God is always right and his word is always true. You must believe what God says about you before anyone or anything else. He created you and strategically designed you how he needed you to be to fulfill his purpose and plan for your life. The Bible is full of promises, instructions, and direction on how to live in his will. Continue to seek God like never before. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33). All these things consist of details of who you are, gifts from God, purpose, strength, peace, forgiveness, deliverance, salvation, redemption, and so much more. As we seek God for the fullness of him, the Holy Spirit reveals so much to us about ourselves. Let the one who designed you, define you.
So you may be asking, so what about our family? What do we do with them in the meantime? We Love Them!"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13: 34-35). Our family members may never be what we want them to be, but we must love them. Remember just as the word applies to you, it applies to them. They are to be what God designed them to be. If they are not, all you are instructed to do is pray for them and keep on loving them.
Family is very important and as believers it is our responsibility to communicate and deal with our families as Christ would. I know that it will not be easy, but God will honor your obedience as you humble yourself and love them in spite of the differences as Christ loves all of us.So as you can see, biblically, you see examples of drama in the family. Christ had to come to clean up what generations of dysfunction caused. He was the answer in the Bible, and he remains the answer for the problems of today's families. Jesus is the go to for absolutely any type of family issue or concern. Whether it's parents making wrong choices that their children must live with as Adam and Eve did, sibling rivalry with Cain and Abel, deception and doubt with Abraham and Sarah, or sexual immorality like with Lot's family; everyone's story is different. However, Jesus Christ is ALWAYS the answer. Remember none of that matters once you become a new creature in him.
Family can be a very sensitive topic. We have all heard where fights or heated discussions are anticipated at the family cook out or celebration. They say you can't pick your family, so we make a choice to just deal with them or stay away. Dysfunction easily becomes our normality; generational curses become just a part of our lives. But does it have to be?
If you take some time to check out Genesis, you will see that the reality shows of today have nothing on the First Family. We start with Adam and Eve and quickly see where pride slips in and leads to being disobedient to God. This was the initial sin that set the tone of the behaviors that would follow in the family. The story continues on with Adam and Eve's children Cain and Abel where sin quickly led to murder.Cain brutally killed his brother Abel because of jealousy. Was this the consequence of the parent's action? Was this a sign of what would be a regular occurrence in the family?
We are introduced to Abraham, the father of many nations. Abraham was married to Sarah, and, even though he was a considered a blessed man of God, he did not always do everything in decency and order. Drama begins when Sarah doubted the promises of God and arranged for Abraham to have a child with her maid Hagar. Talk about the beginning of Baby Momma Drama. This led to the women having a horrible relationship where Sarah treated Hagar badly. The story takes me back to Adam and Eve, seeing how in both cases, the husbands easily followed the instructions of their wives. How many women do we know who run the house? The deception continues when the bible tells us that on two occasions Abraham lied about being Sarah's husband in fear of losing his life. Are these good examples the leaders in the family are setting?
The First Families drama continues with Lot, the nephew of Abraham, who was not the most dependable man. His uncle Abraham came in order to bail him out of trouble on multiple occasions.Do you have a family member like this? Well, the story of Lot continues in Sodom and Gomorrah where he offered his virgin daughters to men who were looking for the male angels to have sex with. It does not end there, when escaping Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at the city after being told not to. Why did she look back? Was the dysfunction her normality? Was dealing with the old better than experiencing the new? The example of horrible choices continues when Lot's daughters tricked him into having sex with them to get them pregnant. Sounds like a story straight from Jerry Springer, right?
If you continue to read the Bible you learn of many stories of betrayal happening in the family from Isaac's son Jacob deceiving and stealing his brother's Esau's birthright to Jacob's sons attempting the murder of their brother Joseph. It can be a little depressing when you put it all together. I wanted you to see how the First Family in the Bible had a list of issues, curses, bad decision making, and much more going on. However, the purpose and the promise never changes. What God said he will do, he will do. The same covenant that was made with Abraham was made with you when you make a conscious choice to receive Jesus Christ in your heart as your Lord and Savior.
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17). This scripture means in Christ it does not matter where you came from, who your family is, or what has previously been done. You are brand new! You must believe what God says about you regardless of what you see around you. In many cases, those who were before us struggled with knowing their true identity and purpose, which caused them to not have the tools to give you what you needed. That is why it is essential to seek God for your identity and purpose. People, even family can keep you from reaching your full potential if you let them. The Bible says in Romans 3:4, "God forbid, yea, let God be true, but every man be a liar." This is not to say that your family lies, or they don't care, love you, or want the best for you. It is a reminder that God is always right and his word is always true. You must believe what God says about you before anyone or anything else. He created you and strategically designed you how he needed you to be to fulfill his purpose and plan for your life. The Bible is full of promises, instructions, and direction on how to live in his will. Continue to seek God like never before. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33). All these things consist of details of who you are, gifts from God, purpose, strength, peace, forgiveness, deliverance, salvation, redemption, and so much more. As we seek God for the fullness of him, the Holy Spirit reveals so much to us about ourselves. Let the one who designed you, define you.
So you may be asking, so what about our family? What do we do with them in the meantime? We Love Them!"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13: 34-35). Our family members may never be what we want them to be, but we must love them. Remember just as the word applies to you, it applies to them. They are to be what God designed them to be. If they are not, all you are instructed to do is pray for them and keep on loving them.
Family is very important and as believers it is our responsibility to communicate and deal with our families as Christ would. I know that it will not be easy, but God will honor your obedience as you humble yourself and love them in spite of the differences as Christ loves all of us.So as you can see, biblically, you see examples of drama in the family. Christ had to come to clean up what generations of dysfunction caused. He was the answer in the Bible, and he remains the answer for the problems of today's families. Jesus is the go to for absolutely any type of family issue or concern. Whether it's parents making wrong choices that their children must live with as Adam and Eve did, sibling rivalry with Cain and Abel, deception and doubt with Abraham and Sarah, or sexual immorality like with Lot's family; everyone's story is different. However, Jesus Christ is ALWAYS the answer. Remember none of that matters once you become a new creature in him.
Am I My Family?